The Fine Filmdrunkards Society Blog

Donk: There are canadian Hell's Angels?
Donk: Canadian Hell's Angels carry knives and chains, but only because those things could come in handy if they need to come to the aid of a stranded motorist
Donk: Canadian Hell's Angels always remember to call their mothers on Mothers' Day
Donk: Canadian Hell's Angels have normal-sized mufflers on their hogs because they respect city noise ordinances.
Donk: Canadian Hell's Angels once ran security for a Rolling Stones concert in Calgary. There were three reported cases of tickling and one noogie-related injury.

Burnsy: Candian Hell's Angels wear removable tattoos because sometimes it pays to be professional
Burnsy: Canadian Hell's Angels prefer to be called Heck's Angels

Donk: Ryan Gosling is an honorary member of the Canadian Hell's Angels

Burnsy: My Canadian Hell's Angels nickname is Cuddles.

Donk: I once saw a Canadian Hell's Angel crush a full can of Labatt's against his forehead, then make sure to rinse it off and place it in the recycling bin.

Burnsy: The Canadian Hell's Angels' only rival gang is bad manners.

Donk: The Canadian Hells Angels consider the Eagle Scouts to be a brother gang.

Burnsy: The Canadian Hell's Angels sell cookies every year

Pauly: The Canadian Hell's Angels ride Vespas.

Donk: To be in the Canadian Hell's Angels, you have to ride a motorcycle, own a leather jacket, and help three old ladies cross the street.
Donk: God help you if you're found littering in Canadian Hell's Angels territory.

Pauly: You have to win a thumb war to become a Canadian Hell's Angel.

Burnsy: The Canadian Hell's Angels wear faux leather vests.

Pauly: The Canadian Hell's Angel are honorary Mounties.

Burnsy: I saw a Canadian Hell's Angel wearing a shirt that said, "If you can read this, my bitch fell off and was immediately treated for her wounds and I'm on my way to buy her flowers."

Donk: The Canadian Hell's Angels run drugs all right. They'd be happy to pick up your prescription for you while your hip heals, Mrs. Thompson.

Burnsy: Canadian Hell's Angels ride motorcycles with training wheels.

Donk: The Canadian Hell's Angels would never be caught dead hanging out in Sturgis with all of those animals.

Burnsy: The Canadian Hell's Angels celebrate Bike Weekend because a whole week would interfere with their work days

Donk: The last turf war the Canadian Hell's Angels got into was with the Shriners over who got to ride first in the city's St. Patrick's day parade.

BK: The Canadian Hell's Angels must have gang patches embroidered in French and English

Donk: The Canadian Hell's Angels believe in monogamous sex, cheap prescription drugs, and rock & roll, but all in moderation.

Pauly: The Canadian Hell's Angels' bikes are hybrids.

BK: The Canadian Hell's Angels respect all helmet laws.

Donk: The Canadian Hell's Angels consider themselves the kings of the road, but only under a constitutional monarchy. They'd gladly move over and let you pass.
Donk: Canadian Hell's Angels don't believe in an eye for an eye, but they do believe in I before E except after C.

BK: jesus, i just got a 12 page missive on the do's and don'ts of airing olympics footage
BK: it was mainly "don'ts"

Donk: Don't refer to Canada as "America Jr."
Donk: Don't talk about how old the Chinese figure skaters look.

Jack!: Don't play footage of lugers rocketing into metal poles.

Donk: Don't act all surprised or get condescending if a tropical country wins a medal in something.
Donk: Don't call curling "Shuffleboard on ice"

Jack!: Don't watch Spongebob with the snowboarding team.

Donk: If a german bobsledder rips her unitard, don't put it into a .gif

Jack!: Waterskiing squirrels are not an Olympic sport.

Donk: What happens in the olympic village stays in the olympic village
Donk: Male figure skaters are just to be called "male figure skater", not "fag, queer, nancy-boy, twinkle-toes, or cock-warmer"

Jack!: The bi-athaletes don't "go both ways"

Donk: They are called "Norwegians", not "Norweegies"
Donk: Scandinavia is not a country

Jack!: Mexican ski jumpers are not "trying to make it across the border"

Donk: "Polish skier" and "ski pole" are not interchangeable terms
Donk: Nor is a Polish Skier falling off a jump to be called a "pole vault"

Jack!: Slalom is not the creepy guy from Lord of the Rings.

Donk: Despite what Subway will have you believe, Michael Phelps is not competing in these Olympic games.

Jack!: Don't point out that it never snows in Vancouver.
Jack!: Don't call older women at the games "VanCougars"
Jack!: When you see an athletes in blue ski suits, don't say they're representing Pandora.

Donk: Please don't mention how many fewer black athletes are at these games than at the summer games.

Jack!: Please stop advertising ESPN 2's coverage of the Autumn Games next year.
Jack!: If a figure skater faceplants, don't say she's "Ice Dancing with the Stars"