BK: donk, tell [misssoultaker] that pauly is really your wife, pauline
BK: she already hates him
BK: "my wife pauline dangerously doesn't like this private messaging
you're doing"
BK: "she's mexican, she likes to steal and hit things with large
sticks to see if candy comes out. she may kill you"
BK: "i only hope you're not hiding tootsie rolls in your pockets, if
they fall out she may go insane"
BK: "`dulce! dios mio!'"
BK: *smack smack*
Pauly: Next time I fuck Filmdrunk, I'm going to try to get it pregnant so it will never leave me.
Bex: hoe come?
Donk: Hoe come cures acne.
JHC: I'm convinced that anyone who says "Commenting ARE currently disabled due to maintenance.", will never get the site back up to snuff.
BK: I smashed the shit out of it with my pants down around my ankles. It was fucking glorious.
Jacktion!: I can keep it up for 20 minutes, as long as nothing touches it.
bex: did some laundry(actually my mom) this weekend
bk: you did your mom this weekend?!
Pauly: If I had a gun everytime I heard it, I would have an unloaded gun.
Donk: Privacy: you've got it unless the feds start asking questions, at which point I'm going to start squealing like two gay pigs fucking.
BK: X3 ruined Wolverine for me. Anytime you take a character known for his grumpy don't-give-a-shit attitude and you make him cry, fuck off Brett Ratner I fucking hate you.
Al: with my boss not fitting into an XL shirt
Al: heh
bex: oh the xmas presents
bex: did it fit him big or tight?
Al: tooooo small
Al: and he's not a big guy - i woulda pegged him for a "large"
bex: send it to tengo he likes tight things
Burnsy: so why don't I have pics?
Donk: you gotta do more pushups
Donk: sorry, misread that
Pauly: BOOSH!
Donk: HOBOS!
Donk: damn dyslexia...
Jacktion!: I'm dyslexic too.
Jacktion!: I always get the "O"s backwards.
Donk: You must make really funny faces when you come, then
Mark It Zero: did you guys know that they hire dogs to chase the birds off runways?
Mark It Zero: because they do
Donk: When those runways get overrun with dogs, they'll just start hiring Asians
Jacktion!: All I ever really want to do is become famous and convince my supermodel girlfriend to get an abortion.
BK: how about she just has a fetish for coat hanger-dildos?
Burnsy: imagine having your penis bitten off by a raccoon
Pauly: Is that a John Lennon song?
Burnsy: i will give you a million dollars if you even know what a zariba is without googling it
Donk: That's what clef-palate Speedy Gonzalez says before running off
Al: i'm gonna go lay down on the floor now
Donk from x.x.x.15 changed name to The Floor
BK: My friend can't eat meat but that's because there's something wrong with her digestive system. Although if bacon started causing blood to shoot out of my ears, I'd just get ear tampons.
Donk: How many people were in your graduating class?
Pauly: Close to 400
Pauly: But I'm counting all the black kids at 3/5
Pauly: The drummer is the best I've seen since Rick Allen
Jacktion!: It's the best I've seen since Rick Dees.
Pauly: "Rick Dees nuts" is what Chinese Snoop Dogg says.
BK: "punta gorda" is a town, "puta gorda" is your mom
Pauly: I fucking missed baseball
Burnsy: "i fucking missed baseball" is what Adam Dunn said three times a day last year
Jack: There's ALWAYS a tornado watch out here.
Donk: My tornado watch is terrible at keeping time. It's always spinning too fast.
Jack: Donk, it's F-5 o'clock somewhere.
BK: what kind of gang names themselves "the bottom boys"
BK: nevermind, i know what kind of gang
Donk: The bottom boys are big fans of the Four Tops.
Donkey Hodey: Of course, if I had known what a Tanuki was when I was playing Super Mario 3, I might be terrified of raccoons today.
Donkey Hodey: Apparently, in Japan, a tanuki is a gigantic-testicled raccoon god that uses its balls to bounce around and attack people
Donkey Hodey: Which is admittedly more baller than anything Jesus ever did
BK: My friend said he was walking along today and got bit by a dog. I said: "Maybe you taste like bacon? Which would be awesome considering you're Jewish. Maybe all God's Chosen People taste like breakfast meats?" I stopped myself short from saying "...but if that were true, the holocaust would've smelled awesome."
...I didn't know how he'd take that.
BK: which reminds me, i gotta renew my subscription to this internet pornography site i love
BK: which I can't think of a name for
BK: joke fail
Pauly: Is it Homo Thug Dating?
BK: yes, that's it
BK: i love homosexual thugs
Donk: You're on HTD too?
BK: i love when their tattoos match
Donk: Idea for a gay auto mechanic dating site: Backfire
Pauly: How about a gay sailor site called Poopdick.com?
Pauly: God, that was a weak joke. Plus, gay sailor is redundant isn't it.
Donk: yeah, it is
Donk: but lesbian pirate isn't
Donk: that's why I go to scissormetimbers.com
Pauly: What about gay baseball players? Like DoubleHeader.com
Donk: Mike Piazza would be there all the time
The armed forces should communicate via ham radio. The Muslims wouldn't be able to listen in.
Donkey Hodey: Our in-laws & us have the same playpens except ours has little elephant heads hanging on a mobile above them while theirs has monkeys. Since monkeys are cooler than elephants, I wanted theirs, so last week at dinner, I switched them while nobody was looking. I was waiting all week for a phone call asking where their monkeys were, but it never came. Instead, we came home from dinner that Friday and they had been switched back. My in-laws broke into my damn house to steal back the monkeys. They watch me like a hawk whenever I'm over there now. I'm waiting for them to let down their guard.
BK: You gotta have more black friends with babies your daughter's age. It would be awesome as shit to switch babies one day when they're babysitting, and then be all "What do you mean, this isn't her? She's wearing the same onesie!"
BK: I drive a pickup because I'm a fucking American
Stinky Peet: I alternate between a Saturn and a pick-up
Donk: You're the worst Transformer ever
This page contains an archive of all entries posted to The Fine Filmdrunkards Society Blog in the chatzy nom category. They are listed from oldest to newest.
Joke War is the next category.
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